Like We Never Loved At All
by soulful dreamer
Summary: Sixteen years ago, the Scotts became a family. As Sawyer approaches her sweet sixteen, truths come to light about her life, as she learns the dark secrets her parents have harbored for many years. This story centers on Peyton, Luke and Sawyer. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

_I don't try to fool myself into thinking that I'm the mother of the year. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I have made some pretty big mistakes in raising my daughter. But in this life, my daughter is really all that I have. _

Peyton Scott sat on the couch of her living room. It was early in the afternoon, and she had just gotten back from a meeting at her record label. Though after Sawyer was born, she, Lucas and the baby left Tree Hill, they returned only a few years later. It was okay, at first, for them to be gone from Tree Hill. But, as it always happens, Tree Hill is home. It's where Peyton knew she belonged. She wanted to be closer to Brooke and Haley and the rest of their friends and family. They traveled mostly in those years gone. They took road trips and stopped in historic places and just really enjoyed spending time with one another.

It had been twelve years since then. When she returned, she settled in to her record label and helped rebuild it after it experience several problems. Sawyer was put into day care and, eventually, school in Tree Hill. Lucas continued writing, but also took over a local garage, the one that once belonged to his uncle Keith.

_Sawyer's sixteenth birthday is coming up soon, and I'm not quite sure that I know how to handle it. Lately, she's been asking more and more questions about what's going on with our family. She's been seeing it for years, but now she's finally questioning why we live the way we do. I wish I could just tell her the truth, but I want to shield her a little while longer from some of the more troubling things of my life. In all honesty, they don't matter. Only she does._

There was a knock at the door and then Brooke entered, a big smile on her face. "Hey P. Sawyer," she said. "I brought coffee!" Her best friend had a habit of always being cheerful. Her life had finally panned out the way she wanted it to. While she wasn't some big successful clothing designer, she had a husband who was absolutely crazy about her, and two little ones that adored their mama.

"Hey B. Davis," Peyton said, smiling as she put down her pen and paper on the coffee table. She took the offered coffee from her best friend and took a sip. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing much, just got back from lunch with Julian," she said, giving a smile. Peyton just looked at her for a long moment. "What?" Brooke asked.

"I'm really happy for you guys, have I told you that?"

"Only every other week," Brooke said, laughing. "How's my goddaughter doing? I'm really looking forward to her birthday. When's the party?"

"Oh, Sawyer doesn't want a party," Peyton replied, giving a stifled laugh.

"Has she become a tortured artist?"

"Hardly, she's just starting to rebel a bit. She says a sweet sixteen party is overrated and pointless," Peyton gave a shrug of her shoulders. "I don't know, I guess she's just trying to be tough. I just wish she would tell me what she really wanted. When I was sixteen, I claimed to not want a party and then, when you threw me one at the Scott's beach house, I was thrilled. I guess I thought it wasn't cool or anything." She shrugged once more.

"Why don't you let me talk to her?" Brooke asked. "I mean, I can pick her up after school, and take her to get her nails done.. or something."

"Nails done? You really haven't spent much time with her. She'd rather gouge out her eyes than do anything extremely girly."

"Well, we'll figure something out. Anyways, what have you been up to lately?"

"We are putting on a concert in the park in a couple of weeks, so I've been going to meetings and making calls and plans for it. You know, normal label owner stuff." She heard the back door to the kitchen open and then close, and then someone rustling around in the kitchen. Brooke glanced through the main hallway to see Lucas, covered in grease walk toward the sink. The water turned on. Peyton's demeanor seemed to change a bit, harden some.

Brooke turned back to the conversation. "I heard you're going to have some really cool bands there."

"Yeah, from headliners to lesser known bands. I'm really excited to see it go up, you know." Lucas walked down the hall, pausing for a moment, then turning into the bathroom. The women heard the water in the shower turn on. Peyton's eyes rested on a low spot on the wall across the room.

"You two still aren't talking? I mean, I know I haven't been over in a while, but Peyton, this is ridiculous."

"It's stupid. He doesn't care, so neither do I."

"But Peyton, you need to tell him about your doc-"

"No."

"Peyton."

"I'm not telling him," Peyton said, putting an end to that. "Anyways, if you're going to get Sawyer, I'll have some time to go back to the office and do some final paperwork. I'm trying to finalize the big bands before I finish the paper work for the smaller ones."

"Okay. I'll have her back after dinner."

"Sounds good." Brooke stood from her seat on the couch and paused as Peyton picked up her paper and pad and continued writing.

"I'll see you later, P. Sawyer," she said and then exited the house. The brunette climbed into her car and set off for her house. She had a good bit of time before she had to get Sawyer from the school. Julian was picking up their twins from day care whenever he got done filming for the day. Luckily, there was a small film being filmed in Tree Hill. His work still took him to Los Angeles and many other locations, but any time there was something in Tree Hill, Julian was the first to sign on so he could be close to home.

Their journey together had been a long one. They continued to try to conceive their own children, but it didn't happen for them. Many years passed before they were finally able to adopt a set of twins. The mother was a teenager, not much older than Brooke the first time she had a pregnancy scare. The girl wasn't local, but they did keep her updated on the progress of the twins. Brooke hit the volume on her radio and rolled the windows down. It was a beautiful day.

A little while and then Brooke was at Haley and Nathan's house. Haley was mostly working with Peyton at the label, so she worked at home most days. Brooke tried to come over regularly to check on her. She knocked on the door and then entered without being let in-knowing that Haley wouldn't care if she just wandered in. "Haley? You home?" Brooke heard movement from the living room and rounded the corner into the room. She stopped, giving a light scream before covering her eyes and turning her head. "I. Am. So. Sorry."

Nathan and Haley adjusted themselves on the couch and then sat properly. "No, it's okay. It wouldn't be the first time this week," Haley said, wiping her mouth. Nathan smiled at his wife and then stood from the couch.

"I'm going to go back to work," he said, passing Brooke with a stupid grin on his face as he walked out. She turned to Haley.

"I didn't meant to just walk in-"

"We should have had the door locked. Like we should have had the door locked the other night whenever Lydia had a bad dream," Haley said, standing from the couch.

"She's still having nightmares?" Brooke asked. Haley nodded. "What about this time?"

"Who knows? Probably something silly, but to kids, it seems like the most terrifying thing in the world." Brooke nodded. "So, what's up? I'd like to know what the reason was behind busting up my lunch time love affair."

"Nothing much. I just went by and saw Peyton."

"Oh. And?"

"She's fine when I get there right? She was doing some writing or something, whatever, I don't know. But halfway through our conversation, Lucas walks into the house and she.. she changed."

"What do you mean?" Haley asked, slightly confused. While Lucas and Peyton had definitely not been the most social, they, especially Lucas, were rather nonexistent in the group.

Brooke shook her head and shrugged, "She seemed to stiffen up a bit, like she had to be on edge when he was around, like she couldn't talk freely. I'm worried about what happens in that house. You don't think-?" 

"No, Lucas would never raise a hand to her," Haley said. "I may not have been as involved with him as I have in recent times, but I know him well enough to say that much."

"Anyway, I'm picking up Sawyer from school today. I think it'll be good for her, maybe give her someone to talk to. Peyton said she's started rebelling a bit, and if I know this phase, I would definitely say that P. Sawyer's mini me would need someone like me to talk to her."

"But what about Peyton? I mean, have you guys talked much at all?"

Brooke nodded. "She called me last week. She went to the doctor and wanted to just update me."

"What's going on?"

"She's had some health concerns, and so she's been trying to get it checked out."

"I hope it's nothing serious," Haley said, giving a sigh. "Maybe I should talk to Luke. We haven't seen him in weeks. Jamie misses him. He won't say much about it, but I know it bothers him."

"How's he doing?" Brooke asked. She, too, hadn't seen Jamie, but he was away at college.

Haley smiled, "Dean's list again. He's really happy there. I miss him a lot though."

"Maybe we should take a road trip up to see him."

"I don't know about that," Haley said, her tone unsure.

"Oh, come on, it could be fun. We could bring the kids. I'm sure he'd love that. We could surprise him."

"I'll talk to Nathan, see what he thinks."

"Okay, good." Brooke replied.

–

Peyton was in the kitchen, figuring out something to cook for dinner that evening. It had been a while since it was just she and Luke in the house. After his shower, he'd gone into their bedroom, and Peyton got in the Comet and headed to the record label to work on paperwork. She came back to the house to find Lucas was still in the bedroom, and that's when she decided to figure something to cook. . She stood with the freezer door opened as she tried to find something that she would actually eat for dinner. She heard their bedroom door open, but she did not look up.

"Where's Sawyer?" Luke asked as he walked into the kitchen. Peyton took a moment before responding.

"Brooke picked her up from school, she was going to take her and do something."

"Oh, okay." Brooke's words were weighing heavy on Peyton. She closed the freezer and turned as Lucas turned to exit the kitchen.

"Luke-" He stopped and turned to face her. His face showed hardly any emotion. It was more of an inquiring annoyed look than any other. Peyton felt a lump in her throat form as she thought over what Brooke told her earlier. She should talk to him about it, but she just-

"I was thinking of getting a pizza for dinner," she said. He shrugged.

"That's fine." He replied before he turned and went back into their bedroom. Peyton slumped a bit. She knew that they needed to talk. But how could they talk about things going on now when they couldn't talk about things that had happened ten years ago?

–

"What are you doing here?" Sawyer asked as she climbed into her godmother's car.

"Well, we haven't hung out in a while, so I thought I would come get you and we could have a girls day."

"Girls day? Come on, Aunt Brooke, I'm too old for that."

"You are never too old for a girls day, Sawyer Scott. Now, we can go shopping, or we can go get our nails done-" Sawyer scoffed at the suggestion. "Alright, then what do you want to do? I've got you through dinner." The teenager shrugged, her blond hair falling a bit into her face. It was blond like Peyton's, but straight like Lucas's. "Okay, well, we can just go somewhere and talk. I just miss spending time with you. That's all." Their eyes met and Sawyer saw a look of concern from her aunt.

"Okay," she said.

–

"So, your mom told me that you don't want a sweet sixteen party."

"Yeah."

"Why not?" Brooke asked, concern written on her face. She knew the type that rebelled. Hell, her best friend had been that type.

"It just seems overrated and stupid. Birthday parties are for five year olds."

"No, I happen to disagree." Brooke said. The two fell silent for a moment. Brooke's mind was on the party she'd thrown twenty years before for her best friend. "Your mom didn't want one either, and I surprised her with one. Turns out, she really did want one." Sawyer remained silent. "I guess what I'm saying is that you don't want to miss out on things. I don't want you to be old and ornery wishing that you had done the things that others do."

"But they're so uncool."

Brooke smiled. "You may think that now."

"I just wouldn't want for it to be all lame and pink and, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," Brooke said. "Let's say that you would want the party. What would it be like?" She was trying to get some clues, as well as trying to convince Sawyer into having a party.

"Something cool. Maybe a pool party, or a beach party. With music." She shook her head, her demeanor shifting for the sadder.

"What?"

"I'm not as cool as you were in high school, Aunt Brooke." Brooke didn't quite catch her goddaughter's drift; this was clearly shown on her face. "I don't have as many friends as you. I wouldn't want it to be just family. That's kind of lame."

"Okay, well," Brooke said carefully. She paused in thought, wondering what she could do for her goddaughter's sixteenth birthday that would be momentous and memorable. "Give me some time. I'll figure something out. It'll be amazing." She grinned at Sawyer and put her arm around the girl's shoulder. "Alright, are you hungry?"

–

Peyton sat quietly at the kitchen table alone, eating her pizza. Luke had come out, grabbed a plate and a couple of slices, and then went back into their bedroom, leaving her alone, as usual. She heaved a sigh and tossed down her half eaten slice. The phone rang, so, happy to have an excuse, she got up from the table and ran to grab it. "Hello?" She asked through a mouthful of food.

"Hey, Peyton, it's Mia," Mia said on the other end.

"Oh, hey, how are you? What are you doing these days?" Peyton asked. Mia had bowed out of the music business about five years back, opting for a normal life with a normal guy: Chase. They got married and moved out to Los Angeles to find what they really wanted out of life. Good for them, in Peyton's opinion. It was always good to go and get some worldly experience.

"Well, I've been hearing a buzz about a concert in the park in Tree Hill and I was wondering if you had an open slot for an old friend," Mia said, her smile evident in her voice.

"Hmm. I don't know. Let me check my line up.. Nope. Nah. Oh, maybe right- Nope." She said, giving a soft hearted laugh. "Of course, I do, Mia. You're the reason all of this is possible. The concert is next weekend, so I'll need you to be here like tomorrow."

Mia said, "You're kidding right?"

"Of course, Mia. You know I wouldn't spring that on you. Just try and be in by the middle of the week. I need to spend time with you, figure out how the hell you've been the past few years."

"Alright, I guess we could manage that. I'll talk to Chase and then get back at you with details."

"Sounds good." Peyton said, hearing movement in the bedroom nearby. She sighed. "It's really great to hear from you Mia. I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, Peyton. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, bye." Peyton hung up the phone and listened once more for any sign of movement. When there was none, she crossed to the kitchen table and took her plate, emptying it in the garbage and then placing the dish in the sink. She took the pizza box and closed it, then placed it in the fridge. Her eyes searched the walls of the house. How had her life come to this? This place was once one of her favorite places to be. She and Lucas could spend days just locked up in here without the rest of the world and they would be just fine.

–

"Mom, I'm home," Sawyer said, entering the front door. She dropped her book bag on a nearby chair and then glanced around the living room, finding no sign of her mother nor her father. She shrugged and then walked into the kitchen. There was a note on the fridge from her mom saying that she had to go back to the studio. It seemed that her mom spent more and more time at work, and her father spent less and less time at home. She was sixteen, or at least, soon she would be, and this behavior just didn't seem normal to her. She had never known her parents to be like the rest of her friends' parents.

The door to her parents bedroom opened and Sawyer turned to speak to her mother, but found it was Lucas, instead. "Hi, dad," she said, a little disappointed that it wasn't her mom. She turned and walked to the living room to grab her bag so she could get homework done. Lucas paused, watching her as she went to take care of business. He ran a hand through his hair wearily and turned back into the bedroom after dropping his plate in the sink.

Lucas had taken off at lunch from the garage so he could work on his newest novel idea. While he hadn't produced anything of real worth in years, he felt like this may be what he needed. So much had happened since his last published work. So many events that he let consume him. He didn't write for years at a time, and all of that pent up energy was weighing heavily on him. So, now that he had broken through the wall of writer's block, he was going to embrace it and write as often as possible. He sat back down at the desk and began to write once more.

_It's rarely ever easy to just come out and talk about the white elephant in the room. Most of my life was built on not talking about things. When I was a kid, I questioned the things happening around me, but as I grew older and more exposed to the world, we stopped talking about the things that really needed to be talked about. Even now, I fall victim to this behavior. I want, more than anything, to take my wife by the hand, and to try and make this work. But my stupid pride and the fact that I'm afraid of what would come of that conversation keep me from actually doing it_.

So, this wasn't necessarily his next book. He had a separate file open for that. This file was a journal he kept. He didn't write in it regularly, nor did he keep up with it all of the time. When he felt the need, he wrote in it, and tonight, he'd needed to write about it.

_I feel as though I'm a stranger to my own daughter. We can't hold a conversation. She doesn't seem to care that I'm not that involved, so I keep pushing forward. I've tried. I've tried to get her interested in things that I think she may like. I try to be a good father, but how do I even know what a good father is? Sure, I had Keith, but even then, he was my uncle, and I plain out knew that. Dan was the man who fathered me and should have taught me about being a man and, more importantly, being a father. Feeling like a stranger to Sawyer kills me more than anyone will ever know._

Lucas's marriage hadn't been all he dreamed for for about ten years. Things happen, people grow apart, that's to be expected. But he never expected that such a great love as the one he and Peyton had all of those years ago. It pained him to think it, but part of him figured it was part of them becoming parents. Each chose their focus area. Peyton focused on Sawyer and Lucas focused on finding his career. Things like that happened whenever people didn't move in their directions together. He knew that it could have been avoided, had he been able to overcome certain things in the past. But this was their situation. He just didn't know how to move forward.


	2. Chapter 2

Lucas snapped out of his dream, a cold sweat on his brow. He sat straight up and then looked around the room. The house was quiet. He glanced at the other side of the bed, finding Peyton's spot, as usual, empty. It wasn't all that often that they slept in the same bed. Back when Sawyer was younger, he'd find her asleep in a chair in her room. Once Sawyer became of school age, though, Peyton would stay up late. Even when Luke would try to get her to come to bed, she would claim she had a lot of work to do. He sighed and put his feet firmly on the floor. The Scott household was silent, save the rattling of the old refrigerator. He really needed to get that thing fixed. He stood up and then went about the room, dressing silently as he prepared to go off to the garage. Maybe he would try writing somewhere else. The house was hardly a source of inspiration for him these days.

Slipping his keys into his pocket, Luke grabbed his mechanic's shirt and put it on without buttoning it. He stepped out of the bedroom and listened for a moment, hearing Peyton's light snoring from the living room. It was early; Sawyer didn't have to be up for at least another hour, so neither did Peyton. He walked slowly into the living room, his eyes searching for the sleeping form of his wife. He watched her for a long time. It sounded creepy, but Lucas found himself watching her sleep sometimes. It was like the only time that she wasn't giving him that look. Though they didn't talk about their problems, there was something in her eyes always making him feel like the guilty one. He stepped toward her and gently brushed a loose curl out of her eyes. It was only then that he saw what she was clutching to her chest.

Lucas sighed, seeing the cover of his first book. He gingerly slipped it from her grasp and then looked at the page she'd been reading. The pages were worn, as though she'd read the book a thousand times. Had she? He wondered as his eyes grazed over the page. _...state championship, but simple clarity. The realization that we had always been meant for each other and every instinct to the contrary had simply been denial of..._

Peyton stirred a bit from her dreams, and Luke gently sighed, closing the book and setting it down on the nearby coffee table. He sat on the edge of it and looked at his wife. The words of his book still rung in his ears. Though he recognized the words, it seemed like that happened to someone else. That he wasn't the boy in the book that had loved the very girl before him with everything in his heart. So much had changed, and as much as he wanted to go back to the way they were when they finally realized they were meant to be, he knew that they had strayed too far from their original story. "We were supposed to have that happy ending," Lucas whispered, shaking his head.

–  
><em>"Lucas, I don't want to talk about this, I've made up my mind. I'm doing it, whether or not you like it." Peyton said.<em>

_"Peyton, don't you understand what you're doing? You're making a huge mistake, and I-" His expression hardened as he brought his eyes back up to her. He was done pleading. Apparently his need to please his wife wasn't working. "You either end it, or I'm filing for a divorce." Peyton, tears stinging her cheeks, was in shock. How dare he say something like that to her? He had no power over her. This was her life, it was her choice. But the resolve in his eyes told her that he wasn't going to back down from the threat. Lucas then walked from the room and slammed the door._

A familiar sound of the door closing is what jolted Peyton from her dream. She sat up on the couch, for a moment unsure of where she was. The dream had felt so real. She glanced around, looking for the source of the noise, but found nothing. She checked her watch, finding that it was still a bit early for Sawyer to get up. Peyton got up from the couch and walked to the bathroom, looking over her face in the mirror.

_When did my life come to this?_She thought, looking at her reflection in the mirror. She didn't realize just how much she'd aged over the years. There were dark bags weighing heavily beneath her eyes, her skin wasn't nearly as tight or smooth as it once was, and her hair was beginning to lose some of its brilliant blond color. She tried to tease her hair a bit and tried to touch up with some make up to help her from looking so.. old. Then, she turned and walked into the kitchen to make some coffee.

–

Sawyer got up and immediately walked to the bathroom. It was her normal routine. She could hear her mother in the living room on the phone. "Well, on to another day," she said after doing her business. She just didn't feel like she fit in in Tree Hill. She stepped out of the bathroom to find that her mom wasn't on the phone.

"Morning," Peyton said between sips of coffee.

"Morning," Sawyer said as she sat down in a comfortable chair. "You're up early. Most days, I have to wake you up." Peyton gave a smile.

"Something just woke me up, so I figured it best that I make some coffee and get my day going. I've got lots of paper work to finish before Monday," she said, finally looking up from the papers on her clipboard. "Got any big plans for the weekend?" Sawyer looked at her mother, giving her a look that questioned if she was really asking that. "What? I just thought that since you're almost sixteen that you might want to go out and hang out with your friends, not stay at home with your old mom."

"Mom, you're not old. Actually, I'm pretty sure you're the only cool person that I know. Cooler than the kids at school, that's for sure," Sawyer said. Peyton smiled at her daughter. Everything else in Peyton's life could be crumbling around her, but Sawyer was all that ever mattered. Years ago, Peyton decided it was her time to put her full focus on her daughter, it had been that way ever since. She did whatever she could to ensure her child's happiness.

"Well, did you want to do anything specific? I'm sure we could figure something out."

"Nah, I've got a couple of papers to write, and a project to do. I just kind of wanted to get them finished before next week, so I can spend my time studying for finals," Sawyer replied.

"Oh, come on," Peyton said. "You're almost sixteen, if I know a sixteen year old, they don't want to be cooped up in the house all weekend." Sawyer gave her mother another look. "Okay, well, how about this, I'm heading up to Wrightsboro tonight to see a band play. You could come if you want to."

"I'd like that, Mom," she said, giving a smile. She and Peyton had a special bond. It was comforting to know that she would always have her mother there. Peyton had ensured that Sawyer grew up in the right ways, and she made sure to always know that her daughter felt loved, even if Lucas didn't take the time to do so. "I'm gonna go get dressed, since some of us actually have to do work today." Peyton snorted and rolled her eyes jokingly at Sawyer.

"Just because I actually enjoy what I do, doesn't mean I'm not working!" She called as Sawyer walked out of the room to prepare for her day.

Sawyer walked quietly down the busy hallways of Tree Hill High School. She kept her eyes low, avoiding contact with most people. She passed to her locker and opened it so she could swap out the books she would need in the morning. "Hey," said her best friend Kara as she leaned against the locker next to Sawyer's. "Check it out, new guy." She made a motion with her eyes for Sawyer to look. She really didn't have much interest in boys, at least, not as much as Kara did. She glanced over her shoulder at the new guy. He was cute, she had to admit. He was tall, with dark hair, and something about him seemed... dangerous almost. "His name is Ryan. He's a senior transfer from Chicago. His parents are filthy rich." Sawyer's eyes went back to her locker.

"And I care?" She questioned, hiding her interest in the new guy.

"Because he's going to be my new boyfriend," Kara said, all of the confidence in the world.

"You're kidding, right? He's a senior, we're sophomores. Do you really think he'd go for you whenever there are tons of older girls that would be willing to go with him?"

"Well, those tons of other girls don't have what we have," her friend responded.

"Yeah, what's that?"

"We're cheerleaders." Sawyer groaned. While she took up cheerleading in elementary school because her mother and her godmother were both on the squad, lately she didn't really feel like it was worth it. She didn't enjoy it as much as she used to. Most of the girls on the squad were just not her type of people. "What?"

"Look, Kara, I'm thinking of quitting the squad." Kara's facial expression changed to one of horror.

"You can't, come on, we're not on the varsity squad, yet, but there's still time to grow so we can be," she said, her whiny voice filling Sawyer's ears.

"I'm just not happy with it. I-" The bell signaling class time rang.

"Okay, I gotta go, first period English. I'll see you later. Think about it, don't do it! Okay? Okay!" With that, Kara flitted down the hallway. Sawyer shook her head carefully. She wasn't happy as a junior varsity cheerleader. She didn't think she would be happy if ever she made it to the varsity squad. Maybe this was just her trying to relive her mother's past. She wanted so much to make her mom happy, and she thought that by doing some of the things Peyton did, maybe that would work.

–  
>Peyton's morning went by relatively quickly. She managed to get through most of her paperwork and was currently taking an afternoon break before heading up to the school to get Sawyer. She had The Cure playing on her stereo in the office and was currently letting loose. It helped to relieve at least a little of the tension in her back. It was during this time that she didn't hear someone enter her office. She wiggled her way back to the stereo to change to the next song whenever she caught movement out of her peripheral vision. She jumped and hit the stop button on the stereo before turning to see the person who entered her office. "'I'm sorry, I didn't hear you come in-" The blond froze, however, upon seeing the person in front of her. For a moment, she thought it may have been a ghost.<p>

Before her, stood a man not much taller than her, with dark hair and dark eyes. He carried with him a guitar, and the look on his face was about as surprised as hers. "Hey, Jake," Peyton said.

–

"Hey, you should come with us. We're all heading to the beach this afternoon," Kara said as she walked with Sawyer toward the front of the school.

"I really can't, my mom is picking me up," Sawyer said. "Sorry."

"Oh, come on, you can ditch your mom for one afternoon, can't you? It's Friday, and you should enjoy it while you can. The new guy is going to be there," Kara said, giving a smile. Sawyer really didn't want to go, but she could see it in her best friend's eyes that she really really wanted her to come along.

"Okay. I guess. Let me just-" Sawyer glanced up in search of the Comet, but her eyes found another car, her father's. "Give me a sec." She walked toward the old mustang. Her dad never came to get her from school.

"Hey, kiddo," Lucas said, trying to give his best smile.

"Hey, dad," Sawyer said, glancing over her shoulder at Kara, who was trying to tell her to hurry up. "Where's mom?"

"She's got to work a little later than expected, so she called to see if I would come get you," her father replied.

"Oh, well, I got invited to go to the beach with Kara, so I figured I was going to ask mom..." She trailed off a bit, unsure of how her father would behave. She never asked his permission for anything, because she was worried he would say no. Her mom was often the one who gave in. Luke gave a genuinely disappointed expression.

"I guess that's fine," he said, turning his eyes forward. "Just call if you need anything." Sawyer started to step away from the car, but then stopped. She looked back at Kara, conflicted. Why did her dad give her that look like he actually wanted to be around her? He was never like that.

"Okay, I'll see you later. Thanks, Dad," she said, giving a smile and then turning to head back to Kara. The two fell in step as they walked toward the student parking lot.

"What was that about?"

"What do you mean?" Sawyer asked, trying her best to hide that she knew exactly what Kara was questioning.

"I mean, your dad. He never picks you up from school. I don't think, in the ten years we've been friends, that I've ever really met the man," she said, shrugging.

"Mom had to work late. So he came to get me. But he's cool," Sawyer said, trying to downplay her father's absence. "Come on, let's go." Sawyer was trying to be upbeat. They would go to the beach. It would be fun, right?

–

Lucas pulled out of the Tree Hill High parking lot and headed toward the house. Sawyer was hanging out with friends, Peyton was at the office. This was a perfect time for him to go to the house and work a bit on his novel. He knew that even if they were home, they wouldn't bother him, but, at the same time, there was something freeing about being alone in that house. It was like he was able to soak up the memories of it a lot better if he was there alone.

As he rounded the corner near his house, Lucas noticed a car out front of his house. Haley was over. He pulled up to the curb and then climb out of the car, finding his sister-in-law and long time best friend standing on the porch, giving him an expectant look. "I'm glad you're home," Haley said as Luke climbed up the steps to the house. He gave her a hug. "Where have you been? I haven't seen you in weeks." Luke shrugged his shoulders and headed to the door to unlock it.

"I don't know, busy, I guess. The garage has been pretty busy, and I'm trying to get this new novel written.. You know, busy." He pushed the door open and motioned for Haley to enter first. She did, but stopped inside. She needed to talk to him.

"Okay, I came here with this whole speech in my head, so if you could just sit down, and I can talk to you without you really saying anything, I'd appreciate it."

"Hales, is this really necessary?"

"Yes, Luke, it's absolutely necessary. You haven't seen your godson in months, your niece keeps asking me why uncle Lucas wasn't at her birthday party. You say you're busy, and for a while, I've just let it go. But this has been going on for years. It's been a slow build up over time. You aren't even you anymore."

"Not even me, then who am I?" Luke asked.

"Dan Scott." She replied shortly. Lucas was taken aback. "Look, I don't know what happened between you and Peyton, but whatever it is, it changed you. You aren't the same man you were whenever you and Peyton came back to Tree Hill."

"Well, I've grown up."

"But into Dan? Do you really want to live your life like that man did, pushing away his family, keeping only the people necessary to his success close?"

"Haley, I really think that you should go."

"Why? Because you don't like that I'm honest?" Lucas stood from the couch and walked to the door, opening it and looking, if possible, through her.

"Because you have no idea what the hell happened. You've got no right to come in here preaching to me about my behavior. Leave." Haley, shocked, exited the house. Lucas slammed the door behind her. Who the hell did she think she was? Coming in to his house to tell him that he was Dan Scott? He knew that he wasn't perfect, he knew that he made mistakes, but really, Dan Scott? Luke locked the door and then turned to the hallway. He needed to write.

A/N: Wow. I didn't expect to receive such feedback. I've been working with this idea from roleplays in the past, and had a burst of inspiration when I was rewatching some of OTH season five. I just posted it to see if anyone would be interested, but the overwhelming amount of feedback has convinced me to keep going. This is a shorter chapter, but there's still tons more to come. Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

"I didn't know you worked here," Jake said. He'd since set down his guitar and was now feeling rather sheepish for walking into this office without doing research before hand. He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. They hadn't seen one another in a long time.

"Yeah, I own the place," Peyton responded, sitting on the edge of her desk. She looked at him for a long moment, studying the way he'd aged. So many thoughts were running through her mind. "It's good to see you Jake," she commented, crossing her arms over her chest. "But what are you doing here?" Jake shuffled his feet.

"Well, I just moved back. Jenny just finished college, and she headed off to New York. I was getting a little lonely in Georgia, so I decided to move back here," Jake said slowly. He leaned casually against the pool table, absentmindedly picking at one of the pool balls. "I heard about this label, and thought, why not? I've been working some crappy jobs for a while, and I thought it could be fun for me to jump back into music, see if I've still got it." Peyton gave a smile. There was no doubt in her mind that Jake still had it. He was a true artist, something that Peyton often looked for in potential deals for the future.

"Well, let's hear something," she said, standing upright and motioning with her hands towards the small recording studio in her office. Jake's eyes widened in surprise.

"You mean, right now?" Peyton nodded in response to his question and walked to the studio. He walked quietly behind her, toting his guitar as they went.

"Just play anything," she said, taking a seat on a stool. Jake set up quickly, trying his best to control his nerves. He didn't understand why he was so nervous. He'd played for Peyton a ton of times before.

Peyton sat casually on the stool, her eyes watching him as he prepared himself to play for her. It was kind of like the last time she saw him. Sawyer was just getting into school, and Peyton was really stressed out over her label. It wasn't doing horribly, just not as well as she would have liked. She remembered going to the river court, a place that meant so much to her through the years. Not only was she dealing with her own marital issues, but the financial problems seemed to keep mounting.

"_Peyton Sawyer," a voice came from behind her as she sat at the picnic table at the river court. Peyton turned, surprise written on her face as she saw Jake Jagielski walking up behind her, hands in his pockets. _

"_Jake? What are you doing here?" Peyton asked. The dark haired man sat next to her._

"_I took a weekend to come see my parents, and I thought I saw you driving by their house earlier."_

"_So you followed me here?"_

"_Yeah, I guess." He gave a smile, but Peyton did not return the expression. "What's wrong?"_

"_What's not wrong?" Peyton said bitterly. She looked up at Jake, whose concern was written over his face. They hadn't seen one another since high school, the last time he told her to go back to Tree Hill because he was sure that she was in love with Lucas. He heard through the grapevine that they'd gotten married and had a little girl. So, the confused Jake was curious as to why she was sitting alone at the river court._

"You want to talk about it?" Peyton looked up at Jake, whose kind eyes were showing that he genuinely cared for her well being. She sighed and felt tears come to her eyes, before she began to explain what was really going on with her.

The sound of the guitar dragged Peyton back to reality. She watched patiently, as Jake sang a song she didn't recognize. She felt herself getting lost momentarily in the way he played his guitar, and how his voice seemed to flow so beautifully. He stopped after about a minute of playing and looked up at her. "So?"

"That was great, Jake," Peyton said, standing from the stool. "I think it's safe to say you've still got it." The two exchanged a smile.

–

Sawyer should have just gone home. She was standing near Kara, but Kara was, by no means, interested in hanging out with her. Her best friend's eyes kept straying to the new guy. The new guy was hanging out with a couple of guys across the way. "Okay, Sawyer, is he looking at me?" Sawyer shook her head. "How about now?" Sawyer glanced over at Ryan, to find that his eyes were, indeed, looking their way. But his glance wasn't toward Kara, it was toward Sawyer. She looked back at Kara and shook her head.

"Listen, I think I'm going to bail," Sawyer said in a low voice.

"Oh, come on, we just got here. Stay for at least one drink," Kara pleaded. Sawyer shook her head.

"I had plans with my mom tonight, I'm going to feel really bad if I blow her off for hanging out here.."

"What's so bad about hanging out here?" Kara questioned, hurt evident in her voice.

"I'm just not enjoying myself like I thought it would." She shrugged her shoulders. "Call me tomorrow?" Kara muttered something, and then Sawyer took off, back toward the road. It wasn't too far of a walk home, where she could ask her dad to bring her to TRIC. She would enjoy having some time to think. As she reached the road, however, Sawyer noticed that she wasn't alone.

"Hi," Ryan said as he fell in to step with Sawyer.

"Hi," she said, before trying to walk a little faster.

"I'm Ryan," he said, catching up with her easily. Sawyer just looked over at him, before shrugging him off a bit.

"I'm busy," she muttered.

"Oh, come on, don't just walk away. You seem to be the only girl in Tree Hill that isn't trying to familiarize herself with me."

"That's because I'm not like the rest of the Tree Hill High girls," she said.

"Oh really? What, you don't like make up and boys?"

"No, I like those things, I just don't feel the need to flaunt myself in front of someone that I have no idea who they are."

"What would you like to know?"

Sawyer stopped walking and looked him straight in the eye. "Look, Ryan, I've got to go, I have plans, but it was nice meeting you." With that, she turned and walked off, leaving him behind.

"Wait, what's your name?" She turned, gave him a look and shook her head, before continuing on her path.

–

Peyton and Jake were sitting in her office just chatting about old times. "So, how are you doing? How's your family?" She sat back in her chair and crossed her legs lazily.

"Good. You know, the usual," Peyton said. Jake narrowed his eyes at her, noting the way that she seemed to dismiss the subject. She saw the look on his face. "What?"

"Peyton, I know you well enough to tell that you're lying. You and Luke? How are you doing? I mean, I know it's been a while, but certainly things have gotten better, haven't they?"

"Jake, I really don't want to talk about it-" At the same moment, the door the office opened, and in walked a blond girl. "Hey Sawyer," Peyton said, giving a smile to her daughter as she stood.

"Hey mom, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were in a meeting," Sawyer said, pausing. She motioned to the door. "I can just wait outside."

"No, Sawyer, this is an old friend," Peyton said, motioning for her daughter to come further in. "Jake Jagielski, this is my daughter, Sawyer." Sawyer walked and stood next to her mother. Jake was a little taken aback by the likeness between mother and daughter.

"Wow, you have a mini me, Peyt," Jake replied, giving a laugh. "It's nice to meet you." He stood up and grabbed his guitar. "I'm going to go. It was nice catching up." He started for the door.

Peyton stepped forward, "Jake, wait," she said, turning back to her desk. "We're putting on a concert in the park next weekend. Maybe you'd like to play at it, as a kind of audition for the company?" Sawyer watched the interaction between the two. Something seemed a little off, like it was forced politeness because she was in the room.

"Yeah, I guess that sounds good," Jake said. "I'll email you my contact info and you can send me the specifics."

The door to the office opened yet again, and there was Luke. He looked up, seeing his wife and daughter, and then another face. Someone he hadn't seen in a very long time. "Jake, what are you doing here?" He questioned. Lucas had dropped Sawyer off, but she left her phone in the car, so he figured he'd bring it to her. He didn't expect to see Jake Jagielski in his wife's office.

"I just kind of wandered in off of the street. I didn't know that this was Peyton's office-"

"Oh, you didn't?" Luke asked, his tone threatening.

"Luke he was leaving," Peyton said, stepping forward. Jake stayed in his spot. He didn't want to give Luke any reason to think something had happened here.

"Then I suggest you go," Lucas said, his eyes turning to Peyton, accusing her of something that she didn't do. Jake gave Peyton an apologetic look before he left the office. Sawyer furrowed her eyebrows as she saw the look exchanged between her parents. "Sawyer, you left your phone in my car. I just wanted to give it to you." He handed the phone to his daughter and then looked at Peyton. "Can I talk to you in private?"

Peyton looked at Sawyer. "Can you wait outside? I'll be ready to go soon." Sawyer nodded and then left the office, shutting the door tight behind her. "Luke, it's not what you think."

"So what is it then?" Luke asked. "Look, I've never wanted to be one that couldn't trust you, Peyton, but this is fishy."

"Nothing happened. He was just as surprised to find me in here when he walked in. I didn't even know he was back in town," she said, defending her case.

"Just like nothing happened ten years ago?" Luke questioned. "I can't help but go by what I see. But sometimes what I see completely disagrees with what you say, Peyton. How can I know what's the truth?"

"Lucas, I have never lied to you. I've never given you any reason to mistrust me."

But Lucas was no longer listening. His mind went back ten years ago, to the last time he saw Jake Jagielski. Peyton had left the house after they got into a huge fight. He didn't know where she went, so he spent time driving around Tree Hill looking for her. He wanted to apologize. He knew that Peyton needed support to get through the difficult times, and so he wanted to make things right.

"_Yeah, I'm rounding by the river court," Lucas said into his phone. "Thanks, Brooke, I'll meet you at the cafe if she's not here." He hung up the phone and rounded the corner by the court. It was then that he slowed down to near a stop and saw two people sitting on a picnic table. The girl he recognized, but the guy seemed like a stranger, even though his arm was around Peyton's shoulder. He drove a little closer and came to a complete stop just out of their view. Now, he recognized the guy. Jake Jagielski. Peyton's old boyfriend from high school. So she was cheating on him._

And nothing anyone said from that day could have changed his opinion. He knew what he saw, and the fact that Jake was in her office when things between them were still tense only solidified his thoughts. "What about the last time Jake was in town?" He asked. "The river court?" Peyton's eyes widened. She didn't know that he knew about this, but if he did, he probably didn't know the whole story.

"You weren't there, you don't know what happened-"

"He has his arm around you, Peyton. The two of you seemed rather cozy." She shook her head.

"You know what, if you've been harboring this for this long, then obviously you didn't care what happened then. You could have asked me and I would have told you what happened!" Luke crossed his arms.

"What happened, Peyton? He comforted you, and then you went back to his hotel room?"

"No. No! I thought you knew me better than that, Lucas," Peyton said. "I was hurt. I went to the court to think; that's a special place to a lot of people. He just showed up there, after I hadn't seen him in years, okay. And he could tell that something was wrong with me. We talked. That's it. I cried. He put his arm around me. That's all that you saw." Lucas's pride, however, wouldn't let him take in her words as the truth.

"Yeah, because ex-boyfriends just comfort their ex girlfriends whenever they're down."

"No, because Jake is a great guy and before he and I ever dated, we were good friends. If I had known that you thought that I cheated on you, I would have put that to rest really quick," Peyton said, grabbing her purse. "But, god forbid you actually believe me." She shook her head and blazed out of the office, leaving Luke to his thoughts. A minute later, he heard the Comet downstairs and the crunch of gravel signaling their departure from TRIC.

Lucas looked around the office for a minute before he headed downstairs to his own car. He felt stupid. Of course, Peyton never cheated on him. How could he ever think that she would? They were all hurt, and deeply. When would the healing begin? When would Lucas be able to let go of his hostility and move forward? If it wasn't soon, he had a feeling that he could lose his family forever. Lucas turned to exit the office, but found his brother standing in the doorway. The look on Nathan's face made him feel ashamed.

"You alright?" Nathan asked. Lucas walked forward and attempted to brush past his brother, but Nathan, who was obviously the stronger of the pair, grabbed hold of Lucas's arm.

"Let me go, Nate," Lucas warned. Nathan maneuvered Luke back into the office and released his arm.

"You can't keep shutting down and not talking to people, Lucas. Haley told me about earlier. She's worried about you, and Peyton and Sawyer, and if what I heard in this office is what's been going on, then I guess she's right to worry." Lucas crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm not asking that you bear your soul to me, or to Haley, but you need to talk to someone about whatever is going on." Lucas still had a look of defiance in his eyes. "You're my brother, Luke, and I just want to make sure that you're okay." Nathan sighed and shrugged. "Anyway, I was coming here to invite you, Peyton and Sawyer to a barbecue next weekend at our house. I know Peyton's got the concert on Saturday, but Sunday afternoon will be when we do it." He glance at the door. "Just let her know." Then, Nathan turned and left the office.

Luke knew that Nathan was right, and every part of him on the inside wanted to talk about the issues so that he could start resolving him, but he was stubborn, like most men he knew, and talking about his feelings made him feel weak.

* * *

><p>AN: Thanks again to all the readers and reviewers. The amount of support that I've gotten for this fic is very inspiring. I meant to post this yesterday, but I didn't have a stable net connection. Hopefully I'll have a new chapter up within the next day or so. Big stuff is coming! I promise. Thanks again!


	4. Chapter 4

Peyton was laying in the hospital bed, eyes wide open. She was getting a little impatient. A nurse walked in to check her vitals. "Are we done here yet?" She questioned. The nurse looked at her with a calm expression.

"Mrs. Scott, we are waiting for your doctor. He should be in soon." She said and then left. Peyton sighed heavily. She had been there since early that morning. The procedure had gone well. Now she was waiting for the doctor to give her the all clear.

It was Thursday, almost a week after her blow up at Lucas, and she had a lot of things to do. Today was the only chance Peyton would have had to have this done, and now, she needed to get out of there and head to the office to finish getting things in order for the concert. The door opened and Peyton looked up expecting to see her doctor. Instead, there was a brunette with a small smile on her face, and a bouquet of flowers in her hand.

"Brooke, I told you not to come," Peyton said, stubbornly.

"You didn't think I could let you go through surgery without someone here? Honestly, Peyton, I wasn't going to leave you here alone," she set the flowers on the bedside table. "How are you doing?"

"The damn doctor is taking far too long to get back here," Peyton replied. "I've got so many things that I need to get done today, so I just need for him to release me."

"You don't think that you're going to work after this? No ma'am. The doctor told you that you needed to rest for at least the weekend to recover."

"You're kidding right? I have rehearsals the next two days, and the show is Saturday, and I just can't- I don't need this right now. What I need is to get out of this bed and get to the office." Brooke looked at her best friend and furrowed her eyebrows.

"At least let me take you there," Brooke offered.

"No," Peyton said, shaking her head. "My car's outside. I drove myself this morning."

"So I take it that you didn't tell Lucas," Brooke commented. She couldn't believe that Peyton was willing to go through all of this alone. She couldn't imagine not telling Julian what was going on with her.

"No, and I'm not going to tell him. It's fine." Peyton pushed herself to a full sitting position in the bed. Brooke moved forward to help her. "Can you get me some water?"

"Sure." The brunette grabbed the nearby pink pitcher and poured some water into a styrofoam cup. She added in a couple of ice cubes and a straw and walked to the bed, holding the cup for her best friend.

"I don't need you to hold it for me. I'm not helpless."

"Let me take care of you, please," Brooke said. Peyton looked up at her best friend, their eyes meeting for a long moment. Brooke's eyes were filled with sympathy, and need to be there for Peyton. The blond's expression softened as she took a deep sip from the straw.

"Thank you," Peyton said, sitting back in her bed. Brooke put the cup down on the nearby table and took a seat in the chair next to the bed.

"So how did the surgery go, I mean, obviously, it was okay, right?" Peyton nodded in response.

"I got out about an hour ago. The doctor is supposed to come in and talk to me soon. I just need him to sign some release forms so I can go," she commented lightly. Brooke seemed to take this situation a little more seriously than Peyton did.

"How are things with you and Luke? Haley told me about the fight, and Jagielski.."

The blond furrowed her eyebrows. "How the hell did you hear about that? How did Haley?" She asked, wondering if Lucas went to Haley and told her about their fight nearly a week ago.

"Nathan was at TRIC to invite you guys to a get together, and he heard the fight. He told Haley. She told me." Peyton heaved a sigh. It was impossible to keep her private business private, wasn't it? "I'm sure she didn't mean any harm by telling me. She just kind of slipped about it, thinking that I already knew, and once she said something, I pressed her for more information. Why didn't you tell me about it?"

"Because it really isn't that important," Peyton commented. "Lucas walked in while I was talking with Jake, who was auditioning for the label, and thought there was something more going on. Because when all of the crap was happening ten years ago, Jake was in town, saw me, and comforted me. Luke saw him put an arm around me."

"And he waited ten years to say something?"

"Yeah."

"Wow, you guys really don't talk," Brooke said incredulously. "I thought all of this time maybe it was an exaggeration, but you guys don't.." The door opened and both girls looked up to see the face of Peyton's doctor.

"Mrs. Scott, I've sent off the mass to the lab to be tested. I'll let you know by next week whether it is malignant or not."

"Thank you doctor." Peyton said slowly. "Does this mean I'm good to go?" The doctor stared at her for a moment.

"Well, I would like to keep you for a while longer to monitor you, make sure you haven't had any ill effects from medications."

"Doc, I'm fine," Peyton said. "Really. I'm just really itching to get out of here. I've spent enough of my life in hospitals. I just want to go home." The doctor sighed.

"Alright, just keep off of your feet, and if you starting have any lower stomach cramps, come in to the ER immediately."

"I will," Peyton said, giving a thankful smile. She glanced over at Brooke.

–

The last week, Luke had basically been at the house by himself. Sawyer didn't know it, but Peyton was sleeping at the office every night, coming home before Sawyer got up, and then leaving after she had gone to bed. They hadn't spoken a single word to one another since their fight the other day. Luke understood her anger. But the words from his brother really made him think. He spent that night alone in the house, sitting in the living room and looking at pictures. There was one of their wedding day, Peyton big and pregnant, dancing with Luke at the reception. He remembered that night and how perfect it all seemed.

That was the night they were blessed with Sawyer. However much a blessing it was to have their little girl, that night was probably the most afraid that Lucas had ever been in his life. There were many events that happened in past years that scared him, but none more than the thought of losing his wife. And now, sixteen years later, here he was, broken marriage, barely a father to his daughter, and alone. Nathan told him that he needed to talk to someone. But who could he? Peyton? No. She was avoiding him. Sawyer? No. She really didn't need to know what was going on, at least not right now. Brooke? Maybe. Only, he knew that she was on Peyton's side of things, as any good best friend could be. Nathan? No. He and Nathan were close, yes, but Luke didn't quite know how to feel about talking to him about stuff so personal. Haley was always a good option, but he was sure that he screwed things up by making her leave last week.

Another picture on the mantle caught Lucas's eye, and that's when he knew exactly who he could talk to. He grabbed his keys and headed out of the door.

–

"Sawyer Scott," came a voice behind Sawyer as she rounded the corner to her next class of the day. She didn't stop walking because she recognized the voice. Realizing that she wasn't going to turn around, Ryan darted ahead in front of her and turned around, walking backwards. "Hey."

"Bye." Sawyer said, trying to dart around him. He put his arm out, stopping her.

"Come on, just talk to me for a minute," he said. "I'm not bad. I promise." Sawyer rolled her eyes.

"Seriously, just walk away."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not interested," she commented.

"Because of your friend Kara, right?" He asked. "Come on, I'm not into her. She's easy to figure out. I'm not into her type of girls."

"What makes you think I'm different from her type?"

"Because unlike ninety percent of Tree Hill High's population, you're not swooning when I talk, or trying to place yourself in my path in the hallways," Ryan said.

"Fine. Oh, Ryan, please please please, take me out on a date!" Sawyer said, feigning a southern belle accent. She straightened up and then gave him a dirty look, before pushing past and continuing to her next class.

"So, I'll pick you up Saturday?" He called after her as she walked away.

–

Lucas knelt in the grass, his eyes looking forward at the stone before him. "Keith, I don't know what to do," he said slowly. He hadn't visited Keith's grave in a long time, and he regretted it. The headstone itself looked the same as it always did, but everything was different. Lucas was a different person than he was the last time he came to this grave. "I'm so angry.. I know that I said a while back that I was moving on from a lot of things.. Dan, mostly, but it all seems to keep seeping up again." The leaves rustled in the wind overhead. "Do you know that Haley said I was turning into Dan the other day? I can't believe-" He stopped and sighed. "No, I can. She's right... But I've been on this track for so long, it's like it's taken control of me. I have no choice in how I behave around everyone else. There are a million things going on that I don't know about. Peyton and I don't talk anymore. Sawyer and I barely have any semblance of a relationship." He felt tears sting at his eyes. "I don't know who I am anymore. I always thought that I modeled myself after you, but lately.."

Lucas looked at the name on the stone. "Lately, I've come to realize that without trying, I've become no better than my father." In his mind, he was thinking what Keith would say if he were here. How would Keith guide him down his path in the best way? "My wife hates me and I have no relationship with my child. It's just how Dan used to be with Nathan whenever I joined the team. How can I change this?" He wrung his hands together, his eyes low on the grass below.

–

"Brooke, you should have just let me go," Peyton said as she walked into the house, being shepherded closely by her best friend into the house.

"No, you weren't supposed to drive."

"Well, you could have at least brought me to the office," Peyton whined. She was exaggerating the fact, but it helped her ease through the fact that she was mad Brooke wouldn't let her do what she wanted to do.

"No, the doctor said you needed to take it easy. No more work today," Brooke said, gently pushing Peyton onto the couch. "Now, you rest, and I'm going to make you some soup."

"Brooke, I'm not a sick child-"

"But you've been through a lot today, and you really need to rest." The brunette turned and headed toward the hallway, but stopped instantly when she saw Lucas standing in the kitchen, looking at her.

Lucas was confused. What was Brooke talking about? Did something happen to Peyton that he didn't know? "What's going on?" he asked, his concern showing only through his eyes.

"Well, Peyton-"

"Nothing," Peyton interrupted, standing from the couch and walking toward the kitchen. "Thanks for bringing me home, Brooke. I'll see you tomorrow at the rehearsal." Brooke looked between the pair and shook her head.

"Ridiculous," she muttered, then headed back out the way she came. Lucas turned to watch his wife walk into the kitchen.

"What was she talking about, Peyton?" He questioned, stepping just inside the doorway.

"I had a doctors appointment today. It was nothing," she said, trying to play it off the best that she could. Truth was, she had a little pain from the incision. She opened up a cabinet. "What do you want for dinner?" She was trying to busy herself. Lucas watched as she winced in pain when she reached into the cabinet above her head.

"What happened at the doctor?" he asked.

"I told you, it was nothing," Peyton repeated. He sighed.

"You're lying. I can tell just by the way you are walking, and how you're wincing that it was something more than nothing," he said slowly. Peyton placed her hands on the counter and closed her eyes for a moment. She repeated his sigh and turned around after a minute.

"Fine, I went in for a check up with my gynecologist a couple of weeks ago and they found something," she said slowly as she walked across to the kitchen table to sit down.

"And?"

"And today, they removed it," she said, standing. "The doctor will get back to me if it's malignant or not." Lucas instantly felt his emotions rush over. That was one of the worst things he could have ever expected to come from his wife.

"Cancer?" He asked. His hands were shaking at his sides. All of this time, he'd harbored these feelings of anger and hurt toward his wife, and now, there was a chance she could be dying. How could he take back his behavior? He didn't know what to think or feel. So he simply walked over and pulled her to his chest. At first, she was tense. She didn't know how to take the sudden physical contact with her husband, when there had been none between them. But soon she found that familiar feeling of love for Lucas, and that familiar feeling of being safe in his arms and she melted. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asked into her hair as he held her close. "You didn't have to go through this alone. I would have been there." She could tell by his voice that he was on the verge of tears.

"I didn't want to worry anyone. I figured that I would tell you if it was bad, and I wouldn't if it was nothing," she admitted, pulling out of his embrace. "We won't know anything until next week, so it's best not to worry." She turned and walked out of the kitchen and to their bedroom, closing the door soundlessly behind her. Lucas heaved a sigh and then took Peyton's empty seat at the table. Had they really fallen so far apart? He glanced at the clock and realized that it was time to get Sawyer from school.

–

"Hey, bitch," Kara said, walking up to Sawyer at her locker. Sawyer looked at her best friend, whose tone was more than a joke.

"What's your problem?" Sawyer asked. Kara often got pissed off and took it out on Sawyer, so her tone was really no surprise.

"So, I heard from Janet who heard from Cody and Rodney that Ryan asked you out today." Sawyer looked over at her best friend, lifting her eyebrows slightly and giving a laugh.

"And did they hear what I told him?" Kara looked a little stunned. All she heard was that Ryan asked her out. "I said no."

"Yeah, well, that doesn't change the fact that he asked you out. I mean, you must have given him some reason to think he could ask you-"

"Look, Kara, I really don't have time for this. I haven't said more than a few words to the boy. All of which were to turn him away from me," Sawyer said. "He asked me out. I told him no. End of story." With that, Sawyer slammed her locker and headed for the front of the school.

–

A confused Sawyer entered the house. She walked to her room to drop off her bag and then headed to the kitchen. Her mom was cooking. "Hey," Peyton said, giving a smile. "How was school?" Sawyer looked at her mom. She looked tired, more tired than usual anyway.

"It was okay. Why didn't you come get me today? That's twice in a week," Sawyer said. Lucas entered through the back door to the kitchen. He glanced at Peyton, and then set his keys on the table.

"Something smells good," he commented. "I'm going to take a shower." With that, he turned and walked to the bathroom. Sawyer turned sharply to her mother, expecting an explanation.

"I'm just not feeling well," Peyton lied. "So, your dad decided to go get you."

"Well, are you okay?"

Peyton gave her daughter a warm smile. "Of course, I've just been feeling a little under the weather. Everything's okay." She paused to turn back to the stove. "I'm making some stir fry. I hope you're hungry." Sawyer continued to study her mother.

"Yeah, that sounds good," she said. "Just call me when it's ready. I'm going to try and get some homework done." Peyton muttered an okay before she heard the door to Sawyer's room close. The phone rang so she grabbed it from the counter.

"Hello."

"Hey," Brooke said. "So I've been trying to come up with something for Sawyer's birthday, and I'm drawing a complete blank. I was thinking maybe we could do something special for her at the concert this weekend." Peyton was surprised that Brooke wasn't hassling her about earlier. She leaned against the counter for a moment.

"That could work," Peyton said. "I know she said she didn't want a party-"

"Well, she said what she wanted was a beach party, but she was worried because she thinks she's not popular. I've been talking to her friend Kara, and she's planning something Saturday night after the concert is over."

"Oh, okay, that sounds good," Peyton said slowly. "I'm going to talk with a couple of the artists and see if we can't pull something together." She heard Brooke talking to one of the kids in the background.

"Okay, sorry, what?"

"I said I'll figure something out for the concert. Don't you worry."

"Alright, I'm sorry, Lila keeps getting into stuff, and Julian is bathing Liam," she sounded exhausted, Peyton noted. She remembered what it was like whenever Sawyer was a toddler. She could only imagine what it was to have two at the same age at the same time. "Does she have a favorite artist that's playing?" Peyton thought for a long moment.

"I'm not sure. I tried to get some of the artists that she likes, but most of them didn't pan out," Peyton said. "We'll get something together. Give me until rehearsals tomorrow. I'll have something, I'm sure."

"Alright. Hey, Peyton?"

"Yeah?"

"I really hope you talked to Luke about what's been going on," Brooke said. "I think that it could help if you just talk to him. He wants to do better, I could tell that much when I looked at him earlier. He's not completely cold. Maybe it's not too late to fix things."

"Thanks, Brooke," Peyton said. "I'll talk to you later." With that, she hung up the phone and went back to cooking dinner.


	5. Chapter 5

"Yes, this is Peyton Scott, Sawyer Scott's mother," Peyton said into the phone on Friday morning. "Yes, Sawyer's been up since early this morning with food poisoning. I was just calling to let you know that she won't be at school today. Yeah. Uh huh. Thank you." She hung up the phone as Luke glanced up from his breakfast.

"Sawyer's not sick," he said. Peyton turned to him and gave him a sly smile.

"Her birthday is Monday, so I figured I would take her to get her permit today," she said, shrugging her shoulders. Luke nodded carefully and stood from the table. He walked to the sink to put his dirty dishes in it. The two of them exchanged a glance. It was weird, almost. Peyton rarely saw that look in Lucas's eyes. It lasted only a moment before it was gone again. "Well, I've got rehearsals most of the day. We won't be back until late."

"Okay, we're pretty busy at the shop," he hesitated for a moment, and Peyton could tell that he wanted to say something.

"What?" She asked.

"This whole doctor business," he started, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

"Luke, right now, there's nothing to worry about. We just have to wait until the doctor calls." She was trying to seem empathetic to him, but it was difficult.

"I... okay," he said. "I'm heading to work."

"Have a good day," Peyton said over her shoulder from the sink. It was weird. They were talking a bit more, but they weren't really saying the things that needed to be said. Once she finished cleaning up, Peyton headed into their bedroom. She sat down at the desk and removed a folder from inside of a drawer. She looked through it, finding the right papers. _The Last Will and Testament of Peyton S. Scott._ She glanced over the paper work once more. She was going to get it notarized today. The paper just listed how she wanted her things to be handled if anything happened to her. The other stuff in the folder was basic paper work: car title, record label information, etc.

Peyton spent a good half hour going through everything to make sure it was in order. It wasn't until after seven that she heard movement in the house. Sawyer came into the room, looking a little flustered.

"Mom, why did you let me sleep late?" She asked.

"Because you're not going to school today," Peyton responded, shuffling the papers on her desk to hide what she'd been working on with paper work about the concert.

"But.. why?"

"It's a surprise," Peyton responded, smiling. "Get dressed." Sawyer was confused, but if her mom had called in for her at school today, then it was probably something cool. She headed to her room to prepare for the day. Her mom normally did stuff like this. Every once in a while, Peyton would check her out of school early, or call in so they could run off to Raleigh for the day for some concert. It was cool having a mother who owned a record label.

A short while later, Peyton and Sawyer were in the Comet, driving down the back roads. The car began to slow a bit, then came to a complete stop. "What are we doing out here, Mom?" Sawyer asked, looking around. Peyton climbed out of the car, leaving the keys in the ignition. Sawyer followed in suit. Peyton stepped around to the passenger side of the car, her eyes over looking a very important location in her life.

"This is where your father and I first met," Peyton said, her voice soft, her eyes glazed over as if caught in a memory. "You know, I thought I was too cool for him. I insulted him a lot." She laughed. "I was dating Uncle Nathan at the time."

"You dated Uncle Nathan?" Sawyer asked in disbelief. Peyton nodded.

"It was never meant to be though. He and I didn't get along well at all. I was very happy for him whenever he and Haley met." Peyton had never shared much about her past with Sawyer. Maybe it was time that she opened up. She knew that that would only strengthen their bond-the good stuff, at least.

"They seem perfect for one another," Sawyer commented.

"They really are," Peyton replied. "This," she motioned to the clearing in the woods nearby, "was where your father and I got married. Kind of symbolic since our relationship basically started that day." She gave a smile as Sawyer looked over the area. Peyton, in turn, glanced around, remembering the moments had in these spots. That was a time in her life whenever it seemed like nothing could go right. But when Lucas came along, it seemed like her world was righted again. It was like for years after her mother's passing, Peyton hadn't been happy, but when she and Luke had the chance to be together... That was everything to her. "Come on, kiddo, let's go."

"Where now?"

"It's a surprise," Peyton said, stepping toward the passenger side of the car. Sawyer furrowed her eyebrows slightly.

"Mom?"

"Yes, dear?"

"What are you doing?" Peyton gave her daughter a sly smile.

"You're driving," she said, before opening the door and climbing in. Sawyer hesitantly stepped around to the driver side and climbed into the car.

"Are you sure?"

"Well, you're going to have to learn how to drive some time, and since your father has yet to take you, I figure I should," Peyton said. "It's been this tradition for Luke to take all of the kids in the family driving when they were young." Sawyer glanced down at the steering wheel in her hand, wondering for a moment why her father had never done it with her. Peyton saw the look on her face. "Don't get down because he hasn't taken you, baby. Things just have kind of taken off and he hasn't had the chance to do it. It's nothing against you." Peyton brushed Sawyer's blond hair behind her ear. "Now, come on, put her in drive." Sawyer smirked. This was going to be fun.

–

Luke had to admit that he was hurt that Peyton was taking Sawyer to get her permit. That was one thing Luke always planned on doing. But, it was his own fault for not stepping up to get it done. He had been so wrapped up in his marital issues all of this time, that he hadn't quite realized the lack of a father he was to his daughter.

He pushed the hood down on the car he was working on. "Maurice, this one's done," he said to his assistant over his shoulder. He glanced up to see someone standing in the bay door. It was Haley. Luke immediately felt a wave of guilt. He grabbed a towel to wipe the grease from his hands and then walked towards her. She looked a little upset still, but he couldn't quite blame her. "Hey Hales." He said, giving her a sheepish look. The two fell into an awkward silence for a moment. "I'm sorry-"

"Luke, you-" They stopped. Their words had come out at the same moment. "Go ahead," Haley pressed. Lucas nodded.

"Okay, I'm really sorry for how I behaved last week. Things have just been bubbling up, and I haven't been able to cope. I didn't know how to, I guess," Luke said. He looked up at her, attempting to read her face, but Haley was not someone who was easily read.

"Okay, I know that you didn't mean to blow up on me. Your anger was pointed at someone else, who? I'm not sure. But, you really should look at things from my perspective and see that I just wanted to give you a kick in the pants," Haley said. "You were my best friend for a really long time. There was nothing that I couldn't share with you. But all of that changed. I just want my friend back. I want the old Lucas who cared back. Not this callous Lucas who doesn't give a damn when someone is trying to make them see reason." He nodded.

"I know, and I'm trying. I am."

"Not hard enough, according to Nathan," she said. "He told me that he heard you and Peyton get in to it."

"That was a misunderstanding. It's over now."

"Have you and Peyton talked about it since then?"

"No."

"Then it's not over."

Lucas sighed and tucked the grease stained rag into his back pocket before shaking his head. "It's really hard to go from being who I am, to the person that I used to be. I've been trying. I've been trying to spend more time with Sawyer, and with Peyton, but the two of them have these walls built up-"

"Like Peyton did in school? Her dad, nor Brooke, or even Nathan ever got past those walls. There's only one person in the world that could truly get through to Peyton. And if Sawyer's anything like that, then I'd say that same person can get through to her too." Lucas nodded.

"It's just hard. I don't want to overstep boundaries, but the waiting game, the taking it slow game, it just doesn't work for me," Lucas admitted.

"Then do something to shock them out of their walls. Find something that will make them look at you and realize that you are trying to do better. That, in turn, will help them let go of those walls." Lucas nodded. "Now, you said the other day I didn't know the whole story. I want you to tell me what happened." He glanced into the shop. He had another mechanic working on a car, as well as his assistant, but he still had three cars to get finished that day.

"Right now isn't a good time."

"Then when is, Lucas?" Haley asked, placing her hands on her hips. "When is a good time for us to go back to being best friends? When it's too late?" He ran a hand wearily across his head.

–

A very happy Sawyer Scott climbed into the driver's seat of the Comet. She had in her hand, her learner's permit. While it wasn't a full license, it was definitely a step forward. She smirked at her mother as she climbed into the passenger seat. "Thank you, Mom!" She said. Peyton just smiled and put her seat belt on.

"Alright, now, to the park, so we can get these rehearsals under way. Maybe we'll be finished by dinner. I was thinking pizza and ice cream." Sawyer smiled. Her mom was, to put it simply, awesome.

"Is Aunt Brooke going to be there?"

"I think she may show up at some point," Peyton responded.

"Cool, I'll have someone to hang out with while you're working."

"No, you're going to be working with me," her mother said. "I want to show you the ropes of throwing a concert. Who knows, maybe one day, you'll run the label for me?"

–

A few hours later, Peyton was at the park, Sawyer by her side, getting the second band in place. As Peyton looked down at her paper work, she noticed some of it missing. "Crap," Peyton said, glancing over at Sawyer. She had a dilemma. She could leave and go get it herself and leave someone else in charge or... "Hey, I need you to do me a favor." She put the keys to the Comet in Sawyer's hand. "Go to the house, there's a stack of paper work on the desk in my room. Get that and come back." Sawyer looked at the keys in her hand, a look of shock on her face. "Take the back roads, okay?" Peyton gave her daughter a wink and then turned back to pay attention to the mixing of sound.

Sawyer immediately took this chance. She didnt know if her mom would let her do that again. She would be careful; if not, she'd get in trouble, and Sawyer was one that always wanted to stay out of trouble. After Sawyer left, Peyton felt someone nudge her. She looked over to find Brooke, carrying one of the twins with her. "Hey, what's up?" Peyton asked.

"Nothing much, I just wanted to stop by. I went by your house, but then I remembered that you would be here. But, I found this boy outside of it. He says he's a friend of Sawyer's." Brooke stepped aside to reveal a teenage boy who looked a little rough around the edges.

"Hi," Peyton said, unsure of who this boy was or how she should approach him.

"Hi Mrs. Scott, my name is Ryan. I have plans to take your daughter out tomorrow.."

"Oh, really, because she hasn't told me of these plans," Peyton said, crossing her arms over her chest. She tried to keep her attitude at bay, but she couldn't help but be the protective mama when it came to her bear cub.

"Yes, ma'am, I was thinking I could play a song," he said, shrugging a bit. His words were nonchalant, but Peyton could tell he really wanted to do it. "You know, during the concert tomorrow." Peyton quirked an eyebrow at Brooke.

"I think it's a good idea," she said as Liam tried to fight to get down. "No, Liam. We aren't staying long." She looked back at Peyton. "We've both been trying to figure out how to surprise her. So, if we let him do this, it makes him look good, as well as us, and then she has that surprise party at the beach tomorrow night." Peyton thought over it for a moment.

"I'd have to hear you sing something before I allow it to be done during my show," she said. "Like an audition." He nodded.

"I can head home, get my guitar, and be back."

"No, Sawyer's just running an errand. She'll be back soon. Rehearsals should be done here around seven tonight, so perhaps you could meet me at my office at the label."

"Okay, thank you!" With that, Ryan walked away. Peyton looked over at Brooke, a look of amusement on her face.

"He's got the hots for Sawyer," Brooke said, giving a laugh. "Anyway, I just wanted to come by and see if there was anything you needed me to do."

"No, it looks like you've got your hands full," she motioned to Liam, who was still fighting.

"Yeah," Brooke agreed. "Well, if not, I'm going to head back to the house. Julian's on lunch, so I need to get back soon."

"Alright, I'll see you later." Peyton smiled as Brooke walked away and then turned back to watch the rehearsal.

–

Sawyer walked into the Scott household to find it empty. That, she was sort of glad for. She wouldn't have to deal with her dad. She wandered into her parents bedroom, to find it as immaculate as ever, and then headed to the desk. She began rifling through the files and grabbed the stack, then turned to head out of the door. She didn't pay that close attention to how she was holding them an entire file spilled open onto the floor. She leaned down to pick them up, and then noticed a title. She stopped, her eyebrows furrowed deeply. "Last Will and Testament?" She said aloud.

* * *

><p>AN: Once again, thank you so much for all of the reads, reviews, favorites.. just everything. I never expected when I posted this a week ago that people would be as enthusiastic as they have been. I've gotten over 1,500 hits! Your reviews have actually helped me develop some of the plot. It is greatly appreciated to know that people like my ideas. This chapter is the precursor to when all hell breaks loose! Stay tuned. I'll try to have another chapter within the next couple of days. Reviews are love! :)


	6. Chapter 6

"And then today, Peyton took Sawyer to get her permit," Luke said, hanging his head. "You know, I always thought that that would be my thing, you know? Teaching her how to drive." He sighed and looked at Haley. They'd gone to the park that afternoon for a walk, and they stopped along the way for ice cream cones. For a moment, it felt like they were sixteen again, walking back to Karen's Cafe from a day of school. But only for a moment, because Luke realized that was over twenty years ago. Their lives were very different now. As much as he wanted to pretend that he was a teenage boy with nothing more than a dream of basketball and a crush on one of the cheerleaders, he knew that he couldn't turn back the hands of time. A lot had happened, the good, the bad, and Luke had to go forward from here.

"But, Luke, did you really show that you wanted to take her? I mean, maybe you're just taking this as a stab against you whenever Peyton just did it to try and make sure that Sawyer had this normal life." Luke shrugged at her comment. "I really don't think that Peyton would have done it out of spite. After all you've told me about what happened and how your relationship is with her now, it just seems like she's focused on Sawyer, because she doesn't know what to do about your relationship."

"Yeah, but neither do I," Lucas responded. "I don't know where to go from here. I know that I want to do better, by my wife and by my daughter."

"You'll figure something out." Haley put a comforting hand to her friend's shoulder. "I had no idea all that happened. Why didn't you ever talk to me about it?" Her eyes conveyed her sympathy. "I would have been there for Peyton, and for you." He could tell that she was being honest. He really didn't know why he didn't tell anyone about it. As far as he knew, Peyton was the only person who knew about the situation.

"I think I was just angry, and when Peyton shut down from me, I shut down from everyone else," he said. "Including my daughter." He shook his head. "While Peyton was pregnant, we talked about our plans for our daughter, and Peyton.." He stopped walking. "Peyton kept her promises. It was me that strayed. You know, I didn't even think that maybe Sawyer would want to get her learner's permit. I... I was being selfish." Haley motioned for them to sit on a nearby bench. "I'm a terrible man."

"No, Dan Scott is a terrible man. You.. you're just trying to find your way." It was then that Luke realized had he been open with his thoughts and feelings with his friends, things probably would have turned out different. He would have been able to keep on track with being a good husband and father to his family. While he knew he wasn't completely to blame, he knew that he hadn't helped the problem.

"Thanks, Hales," Luke said, putting an arm around her shoulder and pulling her toward him in a one armed hug. "I'm sorry for everything."

"It's fine, just don't let it happen again. I'm not kidding either. The kids miss you. Jamie especially," she said slowly. "He's doing really well in school and he wants to share that with his godfather." Luke nodded, understanding that he'd been distant from everyone. He was just glad that it wasn't too late.

"So, where's Peyton right now?" Haley asked.

"Rehearsals for the concert tomorrow," he replied. "I'm worried about her, Haley." She perked up at his words. "The doctor found something. It could be cancer." She furrowed her eyebrows. "I can't lose her, Haley. After all of this time, I've been a stranger to her in our home, I've been mad at her all of this time.. I can't lose her." Haley looked up at her best friend and saw the tears in his eyes.

"It's going to be okay, Lucas. It will be." She said in attempts to comfort him. "You just gotta have faith."

–

It was getting darker, Peyton noted, as the final group went up for its set. She rested heavily on her stool, the lack of sleep from the previous night weighing heavily on her. One of her assistants said something, but she wasn't listening. Her eyes were on her cell phone, checking the time. Sawyer wasn't back yet, and, inwardly, she was freaking out. She sent Sawyer home hours ago to get her paperwork, but she hadn't returned. But, Peyton, always trying to be the understanding mom, but it felt like it had been too long. Had something happened? If she'd gotten picked up by the cops, surely, they would have called her?

"Mrs. Scott?" Her assistant asked. She snapped out of her thoughts and glanced over.

"What?"

"We're almost finished up here, we just wanted to make sure that the crew could start picking up things for the night."

"Yes, that's fine." Peyton said, heaving a sigh and brushing her hair back behind her ears.

"Are you alright, Mrs. Scott? Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'll be okay," she turned to her sound guy. "That sounds great. Once they're done, you guys can wrap up and head out." He nodded in response as Peyton pushed up from her seat on the stool. She turned around to find that her Comet was parked and the headlights went out. "Thank god," she murmured to herself and then walked down the steps of the stage toward the car. She saw her daughter get out of the car, but couldn't see her reaction in the fading light. "Sawyer, where the hell have you been?" She asked, trying to keep her anger at bay.

Sawyer was furious. How could her mother not tell her what was going on? She was dying, and she wasn't going to tell Sawyer. How rich. "Where have I been? Are you kidding me?" She asked. "Mom, normally, I can understand when you don't tell me stuff, like the issues with dad, but you couldn't tell me that you were dying?" She threw the folder at her mother, papers catching the wind and going everywhere. Peyton then saw her living will. She felt her heart drop into her stomach. This was not the way she wanted her daughter to find out. Not at all. "Well? I'm waiting."

"Sawyer, you don't understand-"

"NO! You don't understand. You're always the one telling me that everything's going to be okay, always the one keeping me positive. How dare you not tell me that the one person in this world that I love is preparing herself to leave me!"

"Sawyer, please-"

"I want you to tell me. Tell me everything. Everything." Peyton felt tears filling her own eyes as her daughter gave her a critical glare. It was one she'd never seen from her daughter before, but she felt like she was looking in a mirror of herself in one of the many heated debates while she was pregnant the second time.

"_So, there's something I want to tell you," Peyton said as she and Luke sat on the living room couch. Four-year-old Sawyer was asleep in her bed, and Luke and Peyton were having their quiet time of the evening. Things were tough, as Peyton was trying to get the record label back in order, and Luke was fixing up the old garage, but she was hopeful that her news would help lighten his spirit a bit. He glanced over at her, noting the small smile on her face. _

"_What?" Luke asked, giving an equally playful smile. He was eager for some good news. It seemed that ever since coming back to Tree Hill, a lot of things were stressful. _

_Peyton gave a small sigh and went over the speech in her head. She'd been practicing it for days since she found out the good news. "So, I know that after Sawyer, you said that it would be best that we didn't try again.. that we could adopt.. but, I went off of the pill a few months ago.." Luke looked at her, his eyebrows slowing forming deep creases across his forehead. _

"_Peyton.." _

"_I'm pregnant." At the news, Lucas scooted away from her on the couch. He couldn't look at her._

"_I thought we agreed."  
><em>

_Peyton shook her head and sat up. "No, we didn't agree, Lucas. You basically told me that I wasn't allowed to try again. I never said I would go along with it. Now, Sawyer's almost to school age and I just thought.."_

"_Oh, you thought, did you?" Lucas shook his head and stood from the couch. "You didn't think Peyton. Don't you realize what could happen-"_

"_It could, but then again, it could not," Peyton argued. "The doctor never said that it would happen for certain again. They said that we would have to play it as a pregnancy progressed. There was never a guarantee that I could have problems like that again."_

"_Peyton, that's so...! Stupid!" He said, turning away from her and placing his hand over his mouth. _

"_Oh, it's stupid, is it? For me to want another baby that's ours. A little boy, with your smile and my eyes? Stupid, huh?" She stood up and shook her head. "It happened. I'm pregnant, and you know what? You're either going to have to man up and deal with it, or you can leave. There's the door." Luke looked up at her, shocked at what she said to him. He saw the look in her eyes. While she was angry, he also noted a good bit of fear there. _

_Softening a bit, "I'm sorry, Peyton. I just- I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you. And you're putting yourself at that risk again." She knew that he was only concerned for her well being, but she also knew that Sawyer wasn't a baby anymore, and she missed having someone who needed her that much. _

–

Lucas felt stupid. He really did, but he knew that this was something he could use to get himself back in good favor with his wife. The little things, that's what Haley said. It was like he would have to learn all again. But, really, they were two different people, and they needed to rekindle the romance they once had. He ran a blow dryer over his short hair and then sprayed some cologne over his fresh clothes. He walked out of the bathroom and headed to the kitchen to check on dinner. He arranged for Brooke to invite Sawyer over to stay the night so he and Peyton could have the house to themselves. He checked dinner, noting that it was coming along beautifully. He then doubled back to the hallway. It was funny just how quickly Luke could get things in order. In a matter of hours, he changed their ordinary house into a lighted romantic get away. It was decorated in the same fashion it had been the night of their wedding. Although, then, they couldn't enjoy it. Now, he wanted to have a slow evening of getting to know one another again. They needed it, or, surely, their marriage would fail.

–

"How long have you known?" Sawyer demanded.

"It's only been a couple of weeks. They found the lump and they removed it yesterday."

"Yesterday?" Sawyer asked, giving a sarcastic laugh. "No wonder you weren't feeling well, and why dad came and got me from school. How could not tell me?" Peyton hesitated. She knew that she'd come too far now to hide the truth from her daughter.

"They don't know if it's malignant or not. They sent it to the lab to get some tests done. I didn't want to worry you-"

"Didn't want to worry me, mom, really? All I ever do is worry about you! I worry that you're unhappy and you're only staying married to Dad for my sake! I worry about what would happen to me if I ever did lose you, and now-.. now, I'm on the brink of losing you. I've never had a father, and I just sort of accepted that, but I can't live without a mother.." She paused. Peyton could feel the wave of emotions coming over her. All of these years, she was just trying to protect her daughter. She wanted to make sure Sawyer felt loved and safe, and that was all that ever really mattered.. right? "Why does Dad hate me?" She asked. Peyton looked up and shook her head.

"He doesn't hate you, Sawyer, you should know that. He's your father, he loves you."

"He loves me? Really? That's bullshit. He's never given me more than a simple look, even when I was triumphant at something. I took up basketball in the sixth grade to try and please him, but he didn't so much as show up to one of my games! Why is he the way he is?" Peyton sighed and shook her head slowly.

"Luke wasn't always like that, Sawyer. When you were born, he was nuts about you. He didn't want to sleep because he didn't want to miss any little thing that you would have done.."

"So what happened?" Peyton shook her head, the tears flowing freely now.

"Don't make me do this..." she warned.

"What. Happened." Her mother took a long moment. She had to organize her thoughts. She didn't want to tell her this, but she knew that her daughter was bound to find out some time, and it was best that she learn from her mother.

"You were getting older. I wanted another baby, so you could have a brother or sister... Your father.. he wasn't too happy about it, because when I was pregnant with you... there were complications.." Peyton trailed off, willing her daughter to let it go at that, but Sawyer gave her a look to tell her to continue on. "I was adopted by my parents, my birth mother had ovarian cancer. Apparently, that gene or whatever was passed down to me. It caused problems with the pregnancy. The doctors told me that I should have aborted you, or otherwise it could kill me."

Sawyer's thoughts were going in a hundred different directions. "How could I give you up whenever I loved you so?" Peyton wiped the cold tears from her cheeks. "When you were born, they didn't know if I would survive, but I did. When I got pregnant that second time, Luke wasn't too happy, because I did it without telling him. But he adjusted to the idea of having another baby.." She smiled gently. "I didn't want to tell you until I had to, because I didn't want you to get your hopes up. Time started passing, I was about five months pregnant when the complications began happening again.."

_In a scene not so unfamiliar, Peyton and Lucas entered the house, carrying a sleeping Sawyer. They'd just returned from the emergency room. Peyton was experiencing some terrible pain, and light bleeding. Lucas put Sawyer in her bed and then rejoined Peyton in the kitchen as she made some tea. "Peyton, this is crazy," Lucas said. "You knew this would happen. You knew that if you got pregnant, it would happen again." _

"_I didn't know, Luke. I knew it was a possibility, but I was willing to take that chance for us to have another baby-"_

"_We could have adopted!"_

"_It's not the same, and you know it. I'm glad for those that are able to adopt, but why take away from them whenever I can bring a child of our own into the world?"_

"_This sounds like a broken record Peyton. But this is one record that I won't sit and listen to with you all night," he said sharply. _

"_Lucas, I don't want to talk about this, I've made up my mind. I'm doing it, whether or not you like it," Peyton said. _

"_Peyton, don't you understand what you're doing? You're making a huge mistake, and I-" His expression hardened as he brought his eyes back up to her. He was done pleading. Apparently his need to please his wife wasn't working. "You either end it, or I'm filing for divorce."_

"Your father told me that either I got rid of the baby, or he was divorcing me, and I was not going to leave my child in a household without both parents. I just couldn't do that..." Peyton felt herself crumbling as she leaned heavily on a nearby oak tree. "The next day, I went to the doctor to have it taken care of... He didn't even come with me.. Aunt Brooke... she was there... she's the only one who knew..." She slid slowly down the trunk of the tree, finding her resolve completely crumbled.

Sawyer's expression softened for only a moment. She knew that her mother was hurting, but she also knew that Peyton had been lying to her for all of these years. "And then what?"

Peyton took a moment to gather some semblance of control. She was a mess. She just wanted to get out of there, and fast. "I was so angry with your father that I stopped talking to him. I focused on you. And he did whatever it was that he wanted.." Sawyer wanted to go over and hug her mother, but she couldn't. So, instead, she turned and rushed away as quickly as possible, before her heart would allow her to go back there and see if her mom was okay.

–

Lucas heard the car pull up out front. He prepared himself with a bouquet of a dozen white roses, and then stood near the entrance to the hall from the living room. He heard footsteps on the porch, and then heard a key turn in the lock. There was a smile on his face as he saw his wife enter the house. But she did not return the smile. Peyton looked around the room, seeing the splendor of it all. Lucas, instantly, noticed the pained expression on his wife's face as she looked around. Something was wrong.

"Peyton?" He asked. That was when their eyes finally met, and he saw a change in them. She swapped from a mix of surprise and hurt, to anger, in a split second. But, rather than ignore the problem and not talk, she advanced on him.

"This is all your fault!" She yelled, smacking him in the shoulder. "Our daughter hates me. She doesn't even want to talk to me right now! She walked away from me! Sawyer has never walked away from me with anger in her heart!" She continued punching him, but with each hit, the punches were weaker, until Luke dropped the flowers and enveloped her in his arms.

"What happened?" He asked, desperate to find out what was plaguing his wife so. She stayed in his arms for only a moment, before stepping back.

"You made me abort our baby, Lucas. That's what happened." Her tone was dangerously edging on violent. Luke was shocked. Neither of them had spoken about the incident. Even after he knew it had been taken care of, they didn't speak of it.

But, they now both knew that their problem all of these years wasn't what happened, it was that they didn't talk about it.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: I know I haven't posted in a couple of days, I apologize. My dad had to have a surgery earlier this week, so I've been pitching in to help out around the house. I hope you all enjoyed this new chapter. This story has had over 2,000 hits and nearly a thousand visitors, so I'm very proud of everything it's accomplished so far! And to those of you who guessed what happened, great job! I tried my best not to make it obvious, but you know, it happens, there are some clever people. Stay tuned! It's not over yet. Reviews are love. They keep me inspired in the story and wanting to continue writing it!


	7. Chapter 7

Sawyer didn't know where she was going. She just knew that she needed a way out. Her brain was on overload as she attempted to process the information that her mother had given her only a short time ago. Here she was, almost sixteen, and she had never known that most of her life was based on lies after lies. Her father hated her because of her mother. At least, that's what she thought as she walked down the side of the highway. She looked up, seeing headlights coming straight for her. It was dark, and she knew that it was stupid for a young girl to be walking all alone, but she couldn't go home. The car slowed to a stop, and she heard it park.

"Hey, Scott!" A voice said, running over. "I've been looking for you everywhere. What the hell happened?" Sawyer turned and began walking back the way she came as she saw the face. "Sawyer. You shouldn't be walking out here alone."

"Leave me alone, Ryan. I'm not in the mood for this." She continued walking until he darted in front of her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"If you don't want to talk, that's fine, but I'm not going to leave you walking on a dark road. At least get into the car. Let me take you somewhere," he said. For the first time, she looked into his eyes and she could see that he was simply concerned. She gave in and they walked silently back to the car. He helped her into the passenger seat, and then went around to the driver's side. Soon, they were heading off. To where? Neither of them knew. Ryan was glad he could help her, that she let him help her, and Sawyer was glad that she didn't have to be paranoid about walking.

–

"Peyton, where is this coming from?" Lucas asked, trying to keep his temper at bay, and trying to help his wife to calm down. They stared at one another for a long moment.

"Sawyer found my will," she said. "She came to the park and freaked out on me, made me tell her why her father hates her so much."

"I don't hate her."

"But you never really tried to show her that you didn't, did you?" Peyton said. "I know that I should have talked to you about going off of the birth control. It was stupid of me, okay. I've paid for my mistakes. But that doesn't give you any reason to treat our daughter as you have, making her feel like she's not worthy of your love. So what would you expect of me? Everything that I have done has been for her. I focused my life on her because that's what a parent does. And what did you do? You ran off to your garage. You didn't care. This is your fault. All of it is."

Lucas shook his head. "No, this is not all of my fault, and you know it. We are equally responsible in this."

"So, I'm the reason you hate your daughter."

"I don't hate-! Jesus, Peyton, are you even listening to what you're saying? After you were pregnant, after the.. the abortion, you shut down from me. You stopped sleeping in the same bed as me, you stopped talking to me unless it was about something that didn't really matter... What was I supposed to do?"

"Be a good father to your daughter, go to her basketball games for christ's sake! Not just opt for something else because you're mad at me. I may have made some stupid choices, but I have never let my daughter feel like she's not worthy or that I don't love her," Peyton said. Luke felt helpless. All of this just seemed like one big blame game. They both knew the other wasn't innocent, but it wasn't completely the other one's fault. Maybe he didn't realize just how badly he'd treated his daughter. If Sawyer truly felt like he hate her.. "She's your daughter, Luke, and I've tried to be both parents for all of these years, I've tried to do everything that I can to make sure she was happy and had everything that she wanted.." She sighed heavily. "She wants a dad, she needs her father. Even if you and I never get back to the way they were, I don't think I could sleep at night if something doesn't change the way you two are together."

"Peyton, I want..." He paused, his eyes on the floor before he looked back up at her. "I want to make things work, with her, with you. I want to have that life we dreamed of having.."

"It's too late for dreams, Lucas.. Maybe it's too late for us. If you don't hurry, it'll be too late for your relationship with Sawyer." She sat down heavily in the chair by the window. Luke turned toward the hall and nearly walked away, but he knew that if he walked away now, he could never get back to what he wanted.

–

"So.. are you okay?" Ryan asked as they sat in the car at a drive in. Sawyer had been relatively silent, other than to tell him what she wanted to eat. She looked over at him.

Sawyer said slowly, "You come off as this bad ass, this guy who doesn't care.. why are you trying to care?"

"Because that's a front. A defense," Ryan admitted. "I don't really care about most people, least of all those jerks at school." He shrugged his shoulders. "The way they all flaunt about like they're so important, and want to be your friend, when you know that, in a second, they would turn on you when the next best thing came along."

"Wow," Sawyer said.

"What?"

"You've just summed up my life in Tree Hill schools," she gave a laugh. "Just yesterday, Kara blew up on me."

"Your friend that staked a claim on me?"

"Yeah. She freaked out on me, so I assume we're no longer friends," Sawyer said, giving a shrug. "That's how she's been since kindergarten. Can't blame the kid, just wished she had a little more sense about herself." The two fell silent as their food arrived and they ate. It wasn't until Sawyer put down her burger that she looked over at Ryan. He wasn't so bad. If he was, why would he come after her?

"So, do you want to talk about it yet?"

"Why are you pushing me to talk to you about this? I don't even know you."

"Maybe that's for the best," he said, taking a bite from his burger and then talking with his mouth full. "You don't know me, I don't know you. We're just two strangers wandering around in a world of no understanding." Their eyes met, and Sawyer was taken aback by his words. He seemed to understand her better than anyone else.

"My parents have always had this... weird relationship," she said carefully. "My mom's been the over loving, always protectful mom, and my dad's just been.. uninvolved." Their eyes met briefly before she turned ahead and thought over the events of that day. "My mom finally told me the truth about everything that's happened in my life, her choices, his, and I found out that she could be dying... She lied to me. I feel like everything in my life has been a lie."

"But do they love you?"

"What?"

"Your parents, do they love you? Have they shown that they love you?" Sawyer was taken aback by his question. Her mother, without a doubt, had shown she loved her. Lucas, not so much, but there was something in his eyes the last couple of times she saw him..

"Yeah, I guess so."

"No, there's no guessing. They either do, or they don't," Ryan said. "If they don't, I'm sorry, I know what it's like, but if they do, then whatever else happens really doesn't matter."

"But-"

"But nothing, Scott, if you know that they love you, then really that's all that matters."

–

"No, damnit," Lucas stopped and turned back to her. "It's not too late for us. I refuse to believe that." Peyton looked over at him from her seat near the window. "All of this.. tonight, here, I did it for you. I wanted us to have a quiet evening together and try to fix some of our problems. If I thought it was really too late for us, then I would have never done all of this." She looked back to the window. She was so conflicted.. so hurt.. Peyton tended to shut down whenever she felt helpless in situations. Lucas knew this, so he crossed to her and knelt on the floor, before taking her hands from her lap into his. "Peyton, I love you. I know that I haven't said it much. I know I haven't really said it at all.. and we've both done things that we can't take back, but what matters now..." She looked over at him. He looked up at her with pleading eyes. "What matters now is we're here. I want to fix things. Don't give up on us. Don't give up on me."

Peyton was quiet for the longest moment. She attempted to swallow the large lump in her throat, her eyes turning to the window, resting on a spot on the darkened street out in front of the house. She sighed heavily, before turning back to Lucas. "Where do we go from here?"

* * *

><p>AN: I know that I haven't updated since last week, I am so so sorry. Lots of stuff going on at the moment. Anyways, I wanted to thank everyone for the hits and reviews. They really are inspiring. For those that are still reading, thank you! I know that there are some people who have read this that don't agree with the things I've put into this story. I just want to address this really quickly: A lot can happen in sixteen years. People tend to do some stupid things, and that can cause changes that you may or may not like. I'm not one to write something for fluff. I like to shock my readers and place them in a situation that isn't happy, because, let's face it, Tree Hill is a town full of drama, and things can't always be happy. In fact, they're rarely happy. Anyways, thanks again to those that are still here. I know this is a shorter update, but I just wanted to post something so you guys didn't think I abandoned the story, because I haven't. Just been really busy. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!


	8. Chapter 8

Sawyer woke up the next morning to a child's scream. She sat up in the bed and looked around the room, forgetting for a moment that she asked Ryan to drop her off here last night. Then it all sunk in again; everything her mother told her yesterday. She felt like the life she'd been living was all a lie. She was extremely angry with her mother, still. She knew that Peyton loved her, but how could she have kept everything from her all of these years? What hurt her most was that her relationship with her father could have been completely different had her mother made better decisions. She walked out of the spare bedroom and into the dining area of the house.

"Morning, Sunshine," Brooke said as she attempted to feed one of the kids. "Your mom called."

"What'd she want?" Sawyer questioned, rubbing the sleep out of her eye.

"She's been worried about you all night. You should probably call her," Brooke suggested. Sawyer shook her head. She really was no in the mood to speak to her mother. "Come on, Sawyer, whatever happened can't be that bad."

"She didn't tell you what happened?"

"No, she just wanted to make sure that wherever you were, you were safe, so I told her that when you got up I would tell you to call her," Brooke said.

"Well, I don't know how close you and mom have been over the years, but yesterday I found out the truth about everything." Sawyer shook her head. "How could mom not tell me that I was going to have a brother or sister? I know I was young, but I would have remembered if she told me."

Brooke sighed. "I wanted her to tell you," she said as she took the little one out of his chair and cleaned him up. "I thought she would, but she kept saying that you were too young to know the truth. It's all come to this."

"She was stupid," Sawyer said blatantly. "What kind of person just makes a choice like that that could potentially leave me without a mother and dad without mom? I just don't understand."

"She may have made a bad choice, but your mother isn't stupid. She knew what she was doing. She was willing to take the risks because she loved you and Lucas and, yes, part of it was selfish. But she grew up as an only child, and she wanted you to have a brother that you could rely on."

"It was a boy?" Brooke nodded. Sawyer sat down heavily in a chair at the island. "I just don't feel like I can trust her. I mean, I don't even know who she is."

Peyton had hoped the weather would be better than the newscast said. But nope. It was hot and there was a constant threat of rain. She was at the park, working, of course. There were bands to get ready and they had to prepare a plan in case it did rain. "Yes, that's fine, just do it," she said, rather aggravated. She was trying her best to keep her temper at bay, but it just didn't seem like this was her day.

"Seems like you need a break," came a voice from behind her. She turned to see Lucas standing there, with two cups of coffee in his hand. "Want to walk for a bit?" She nodded and then told her assistant what needed to be done next, then she and Lucas walked away from the stage.

"So.." Peyton said.

"Yeah," Lucas remarked. "Listen, I think that after this concert, we should take a vacation. You, me, and Sawyer. Maybe go and stay with my mom on the boat for a week with Andy and Lily?" Peyton shook her head.

"Running away won't solve the issues. Right now, we really need to focus on Sawyer, most of all," Peyton said. "She went to Brooke's last night. Brooke called me this morning and told me that Sawyer didn't want to talk to me, so we're all just sort of stuck."

"Well, maybe I could go over there and talk to her."

"Do you think that would work?" Peyton asked. In her mind, however, that seemed the best idea. Sawyer wasn't talking to Peyton, but maybe if Luke went over there and tried to make things work, she would listen.

"It wouldn't hurt to try," he said. Silently, Peyton agreed. "What time is this thing over?" She shrugged.

"Somewhere between nine and ten," she said. "But then we have to strike everything and clear out before noon tomorrow. It's a part of the paper work. We have a good crew, and they're willing to get it done tonight so they don't have to come back before dawn."

"Okay. Well, after this, I'll head over to Brooke's and see if Sawyer will talk to me. Then, I'll come back here." Peyton glanced up at him, surprised that he wanted to be so involved. Last night, things had blown up, but today it almost seemed like it was a new day. A dawning of a new time in their lives. After the argument, Peyton spent hours trying to find where Sawyer was, and then she told Luke he needed to head to bed, because she thought he was going to spend the day at the shop.

"Don't you have to work at some point?" She asked.

"No. I want to be with my family today," he said. She gave him a smile. "Alright, well, I'm going to head over to Brooke's. Do you need anything while I'm gone?" Peyton shook her head. "I'll be back in a while."

"Hey Luke?" She said as he started to walk away.

"Yeah?" He turned to face her.

"Tell her I love her," she said. He nodded.

There was a knock at the door. Brooke and Julian took the twins out for the afternoon to Haley's house. Sawyer opted for staying inside. She opened the door to find Ryan standing there. "Hey, Scott," he said. She turned her back to him and walked into the house.

"What do you want?"

"Well, we have a date this afternoon, and I wanted to make sure you wouldn't chicken out," he said.

"A date?" Sawyer asked, furrowing her eyebrows. She didn't remember making a date with him.

"In the hall way, the other day? I told you I would pick you up?" Then, she seemed to remember the conversation where she blew him off. He didn't actually think that he was going to take her out? I mean, sure, he comforted her the night before and took her home, but she didn't owe him a thing.

"That was a joke."

"No, it wasn't. I was serious. Now, I think you need to get yourself together, and let's go."

"Where?"

"The concert in the park."

"No, I can't go to that, sorry Ryan." She said, shaking her head as she walked to the fridge.

"Why not?"

"Because my mom is the one putting it on and I'm upset with her," she said. "I'm just going to stay here and sulk for a while."

"Isn't it your birthday tomorrow?" He asked. She nodded. "Alright, we're going out to celebrate. I want to show you a good time, even if you're not interested in me in that way." She groaned to herself.

"Fine-"

"Sawyer?" came a voice through the open door of the house. Lucas stood there, looking between Sawyer and the boy.

"Hey, Dad," she said. "This is Ryan." The blond man looked at Ryan with critical eyes. It was obvious to him that Brooke wasn't there, and Sawyer was normally a good kid. She never let boys into the house without permission.

"Sawyer, can I talk to you?"

"I can come back later?" Ryan suggested.

"I think that's a good idea," Lucas said. Sawyer was a little taken aback, but she wasn't going to stand down.

"No, that's not a good idea," she said, her features hardening. "No. Ryan and I have a date. You'll just have to come back later, Dad."

"Sawyer Brooke Scott, I am not in the mood for games. Ryan, it was very nice to meet you, you can pick her up in an hour," he said. Ryan glanced at Sawyer, who was staring angrily at her father. She looked over at Ryan and gave him a nod, telling him to go. He left, closing the door behind him.

"You've got ten minutes, you better start talking," she said, sitting down on a chair in the living room.

"I understand that you're angry with your mother, but you are going to sit here and you are going to listen to what I have to say."

"Continue."

Lucas was offended by her attitude. He understood why she was acting that way, but he really just wanted to get through to her and show her that this whole situation was what it was.. "Your mother loves you, and all she's ever wanted to do is to protect you."

"So she spent my entire life lying to me?"

"No, no, Sawyer, she didn't. She just didn't tell you things that happened because she didn't want them to hurt you. She didn't ever want to see you in any sort of pain if she could bear it for you." Lucas's expressions were softened.

"And what's your excuse?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you've almost never come to any of my extracurricular activities, you walk around the house like you're a complete stranger, and you'd rather spend time playing with your car then talking to me," Sawyer said concisely. "I know that mom put you up to this, so you don't have to pretend that you actually want to be here." She stood up from her chair and turned toward the guest bedroom. "Thanks for coming by." Lucas reached out and grabbed her shoulder, then turned her to face him.

"She did not put me up to this. I came here because I care about you and, believe it or not, I love you. Now, I can't go back and change my behavior in the past. Everything that's happened, it's happened, we can't change it. We're not perfect people, we make mistakes, but I'm willing to let it go if you just give me a chance to be the father to you that I want to be."

"And sixteen years later, he wants in. Well, sorry, Dad, I think you're a little late," she said, shaking his grip on her away. She turned and went into the guest bedroom, locking the door behind her.

Lucas was left standing there stunned. He knew it wasn't going to be easy, but did it really have to be this hard?

* * *

><p>AN: I know some of you got an email saying we had a new chapter last night. I'm sorry. It was a wrong button hit when I was trying to update. Also, I know it's been a month since I posted. I've really lost my muse as far as this story goes, and I was going to post something here saying that I don't think I'll finish it, but I wanted to give you guys the best that I could do at continuing. Thank you for your patience. I really would like to finish this one day. As an aspiring writer, I'm working on several projects and I just have to stay with where my inspiration is. I apologize for the misfire last night. I'm sorry for this taking so long. I hope to update soon. It all depends on my muse. Thanks for reading, as always!


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